reading over old blog posts from an ex makes me feel safe, it makes me realise that actually i can get through this and move on, because despite the fact i forgot a long time ago how i felt in that relationship, reading over her posts makes me realise just how much we loved each other at the time, and the fact that now i feel nothing, i can get through heart-break. so i know im gonna be ok, im gonna be ok without you. i might not think it right now, but the truth is, i will be ok, i'll come out stronger and fighting, and i'll fall inlove again.

but for now, heres a post she wrote, and it makes me realise how different i used to be, but it also makes me smile, this was before i went to camden for the first time, and she was right, i fell inlove with it instantly, to me, there is no where more amazing in the world.
I think I'm gonna take her up London again too. She loves it up there; Camden Town. It's so different to where she lives, and I guess that's why she adores it so much. She's very creative, and arty, if that makes sense? So there isn't a better place to be than Camden for someone like that. Every little thing about it makes her mind wonder. I love seeing it happen. I can tell when she's thinking about things. This expression of deep thought and concentration comes over her face, as if she's focusing on something for a moment, then it suddenly changes, and she just looks around and smiles, taking in everything around her.

this makes me smile too:
I love watching her sleep. She just lays there, in the perfect silence, and looks so beautiful. I sit and look at every single detail of her face. Noticing every single thing about her, and loving every little bit. Just looking at her makes me smile. She always looks so happy and peaceful when she sleeps.

She takes in every little detail of what she's looking at, and when she's talking to you, every word she says shows so much thought and emotion

its reading through these posts that makes me realise im gonna be ok, that i will fall inlove again, because at some point, someone was madly inlove with me and i was their world, as they were mine. reading over these posts i dont feel anything, but instead i smile, and feel contented because i know that at the time i was happy. and i hope one day i can do the same about us, look back, not feel anything, but smile. i dont think thats possible though, to not feel anything for us. i mean, my ex, i moved on pretty quick, i let go pretty quickly, but you, its different. but hey, knowing that someone loved me that much makes me feel special. i wish id asked you to write a blog when we were together, because in a sense, i feel like im left with nothing, nothing in writing to say how you felt. ofcourse, we had diaries and we wrote letters, but that was different. i dunno, all i know, is that im going to be ok :)