give me carnage

suddenly gone very angry, and i dont know why. suddenly im crying and wanting to scream at everyone. im meant to be tidying right now, but I seriously needed to blog to vent. i mean, lifes not shit or anything, the scenarios pretty crap but whatever you know? but trying to contain this anger is horrible, when i get like this i want to tell everyone to fuck off, to push them away, and be angry at the world, and no amount of enya is chilling me out right now. this so rarely happens, and it normally last 5 mins and then its over. im never angry, but i think having all the shit to deal with atm, family members dying,moving out, social, jobs, mum being aggressive, its all just getting a little too much, and then certain things are just the icing on the cake.  what i want right now is a sub or rough sex, something to get rid of all this pent up energy, because its unbearable, i need something that i can be angry with, rough sex, it means i can be as rough as i like, but take all my frustration out, and it be amazing. shove me up against the wall, shred my clothes, bite me, scratch me, restrain me, make me fight you, try and tame me, i want the fight, i want to fight you as you try to pin me, i want to be sweating and breathing heavily, in shark mode and there be a fight for dominance, for me to try and get you off me as i fight underneath you, only for you to re-pin me. destroy me and dominate me, then hold me afterwards as i lay trembling and sleepy in your arms. i dont do vanilla, and what i want right now is far from vanilla, i want carnage.