i honestly couldnt care less if my guy came today and swallowed me up whole. i feel depressed, very very depressed. and all i want to hear is your voice, re-assuring me, cheering me up. all i want is for you to hold me, scoop me up and rock me, tell me its going to be ok and that im not alone. i havent had to deal with these major lows yet, today is the first one. but i feel like ive been hit by a ton of bricks, no energy, constantly crying and just feeling like all i want to do is get back into bed and forget about today.

mums pushing for me to get jobs sorted, but i dont think she realises how hard it is, how hard im struggling with it all. i dont think you realise how much im struggling. the only thing thats keeping me going right now, is knowing that at some point i shall see you, and you shall hug me and hold me, and in the splitting second, i shall feel safe and whole again. thats the thing, youre my soulmate, you really are, you complete me and without you here i feel like im missing a limb, i dont function propperly. i cant function without you, i can power on and try my best, but without you im nothing. it just reminds me of that song, you know the one about being "youre the song on the radio". thats us, we're each other. i just hope that in some miracle way, we are like the couples out of the movies, where we have a dispute, seperate for a bit, but our loves bonds us and brings  us back together, i hope you can see that the way i do. i want you, all of you, and im sorry for how much i fucked up, but i want to change that, and i wont stop fighting for you. please my missing puzzle piece, come back, because without you, im nothing but an empty shell, im incomplete. i love you more than you are ever going to know. i will never. ever. stop loving you, even if it kills me.