my dearest helen,
so this really is my last letter to you, as i cant go on anymore and i cant do this anymore. speaking to you tonight showed me a lot, it showed me that cody was never really ours, he was always yours. its shown me that you really couldnt give a shit, and its shown me how very little i mean to you. ive got to get away from it all, make a clean break and forget. i know you probably wont read this, but if anything does happen to me tonight, im hoping your initiative will tell you to check on here and read through, if not, well then its a letter unheard. i cant go on like this anymore, i thought you understood how much bear meant to me, but evidently not. hes 'your boy', he always was. enjoy your life, im no longer in it, or in anyones for that matter. and yeah, if something does happen tonight, youre partly to blame. you destroyed me helen, you took away everything good in me and left me with nothing. congratulations.